Ash-Shama'il Al-Muhammadiyah: Description Of The Joking Of Rasoolullah

"The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) said to him: 'O two-eared'!”

"Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) would associate so closely with us that he said to a young brother of mine: “O Abu 'Umair, what has the little red- beaked sparrow done?’”

“They said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, are you teasing us?’ He said: ‘Yes, except that I am telling nothing but the truth'!”

"A man asked Allah’s Messenger (Allah bless him and give him peace) to provide him with a mount, so he said: 'I will mount you on the offspring of a she-camel The man said: 'O Messenger of Allah, what shall I do with the offspring of a she- camel?' He said (Allah bless him and give him peace): 'To what does a she-camel give birth, except more she-camels?’”

“There was a man among the people of the desert — his name was Zahir — and he used to bring the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) a present from the desert, so the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) would equip him when he wished to go out to battle. “The Prophet said (Allah bless him and give him peace):‘Zahir is our desert, and we are his towns'. He (Allah bless him and give him peace) used to love him, though he was a homely man, so the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) came to him one day while he was selling his wares, and embraced him from behind so that he couldn't see who it was. So he said: ‘Who is this? Let go of me!’ Then he turned around and recognized the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace). Once he recognized the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace), he kept his back pressed to the Prophet's chest, so the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) proceeded to say: ‘Who will buy this slave?’ The man said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, in that case, by Allah, you will find me an unsellable commodity!’ The Prophet said (Allah bless him and give him peace): ‘But you are not an unsaleable commodity in the view of Allah),’ or he said: ‘You are precious to Allah!'”

"An old woman came to the Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) and said: 'O Messenger of Allah, beseech Allah to let me enter the Garden of Paradise!' He replied: 'O Mother of So-and-so, no old woman will enter the Garden of Paradise!' She turned away weeping, so he said: 'Tell her that she will not enter it as an old woman, for Allah says: ‘We have created them a new creation, and made them virgins, loving, equal in age [inna ansha’na-hunna insha’a: fa-ja'alna-hunna abkara 'uruban atraba].’” (Al-Qur'an; 56:35-37)